Thoughts, Inspiration and Encouragement

I haven’t written since June and though I’m not exactly proud of that fact, life happens and I’ve been spending my time with my little lady so I’m not going to stress about it. I hope to get some more writing done this Fall. I’ve been back to cooking and baking a lot when Rees naps so I’ve just got to start documenting it and sharing it with all you folks here. Today, however I’m just writing to get a few things off my chest. This is my personal blog, so I heartily take the right to use it as such when I need to.

I recently read this article that someone posted a link to on Facebook: Why Women Can’t Have it All. I found it to be very well written and so very true. It got me thinking about myself and this new role I find myself in as a mom and a housewife. And then this week I read this blog post: Moms, When Are you Going to Learn?; another encouraging set of words from another mom. Again, these words got me thinking…

I often tell my husband that I was born in the wrong era. Sorry liberated ladies, but I’d much rather be living in the 1950s. Not only do I love the fashion from that time but I love that women were not looked down upon because they were housewives. Yes, I understand that we were looked upon as lesser than men so I’m glad that’s not the case anymore but I’m talking about the way women viewed one another. My thoughts and insecurities come from the pressure I feel from other women, friends, celebrities, society. I know that my husband will support me as best he can not matter what I want to do. He knows how smart I am, how hard I work and my moral character. It’s women today who make me feel like less if I choose to stay home and raise my family instead of “having it all.”

Why is it that now that women are free to have it all, if I choose not to, then I feel like I’m not doing my part for womankind? It seems to me, that women as a whole have backed ourselves into a corner here; we fought for equality and now we’ve got this extreme pressure to maintain it and we spur each other on to do more and better all the time. When the hard reality is that no one can “have it all.” Having it all doesn’t exist, something always gives.

The battle between the stay-at-home-mom and the working-mom continues. The stay-at-home-mom evies the working mom and the fact that she can still get herself looking decent each day, she gets career encouragement and adult conversation, not to mention the fact that financially, she’s contributing to her family. The working-mom envies the stay-at-home-mom and the fact that she seems more well rested, she has the time to clean her house, make dinner, can wear yoga pants every day, exercise and on weekends she’s not catching up on the household errands that weren’t done during the week.

Growing up I always told people I wanted to “grow up and be a mom.” To me, it was a career just like anything else. As a grew older I stopped telling people that when they asked, I’d say I wanted to be a librarian, art historian, professor, anything to make them think I wanted to be an intelligent woman, contributing to society and making my own money, but deep down I still just wanted to be a mom. And now, by the grace of God, its happened, I have made it! I’m finally a stay-at-home-mom. So why do I still have these thoughts that I’m not doing my part for womankind? Why can’t I just enjoy this dream come true? I still feel like a bit of a failure for being laid off and never returning to the workforce full-time.

As I sit at my computer Googling stain fighters for ring around the collar and planning what time to get my pot roast in the oven (for real people, pot roast for dinner!) I can’t help but wonder how will I teach my own daughter to do what she loves, not matter what society says about it? How can I inspire her to dream big OR small; to be happy with a well paying job even if its not changing the world and above all to love her family as best she can while understanding her worth?

Any suggestions moms? I’d love a little encouragement and advice!

Thanks for reading! I’ll let you know how my pot roast turns out…

PS – I’m sending out a special Happy Birthday to my own mom today! She’s always been my biggest fan and source of encouragement and has never made me feel less because I wanted to be home to raise my own kid. She’s always done her best to be the greatest mom and now grandmother. And I think she’s pretty much the best! Thanks, Mom and Happy Birthday!

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