Sometimes life hands you lemons and this Summer, life decided to send us an entire lemon tree. To say that this Summer of 2014 has been a lot to handle would be an understatement but I think I’m finally in a place where I feel comfortable sharing what’s been happening over the last few months with all of you.
First comes the good news, shortly before Rees’ first birthday, Eric and I found out that I was expecting again! News I never imagined being able to share with the world once, let alone twice! God is good and we are so grateful for another blessing in our lives. We found out in July that this baby is indeed a boy and he is expected to make his arrival into our family around Thanksgiving this year. Lots to be thankful for!
And then as we began to get excited about adding another baby to our family, we took a serious hit. Close to the end of May, with no warning, Eric lost his job. I guess in many cases with job loss, there is no warning and even with warning is anyone ever truly prepared for it? Shock, anger, grief and fear hit Eric and I hard as we tried to understand this major twist in our lives.
Along with the giant question of WHY? and then WHY NOW? we wrestled with the daily details of getting healthcare for our family and making enough money to get by. June was filled with hope as we remained positive while Eric went on interviews and sent out his resume and I picked up lots of extra hours at my part-time retail job. Eric took on the majority of child care each day while I dearly missed my time with Rees and my belly kept growing, reminding us of this new mouth to feed come November.
July was harder, our hope began to fade as we waited for job offers that never came and true fear began to dictate our every thought and action. And now here we are, mid-August but feeling hopeful again for a future that we’re certain God is preparing for us.
I have learned a lot about what I can handle, emotionally, mentally and physically; what our marriage can handle (pretty much anything now, praise God for that!); and true humility. I’m constantly humbled by being in a position with so many other people in our nation and our world who need help. Help to get by, help with getting their kids visits to the doctor, help from friends with strong shoulders to lean on and most recently help from loving parents who never want to see their own children and grandchildren struggle.
Eric and I have both been blessed with parents who have always loved and supported us but as we became adults we never thought we’d need them in the same ways as we did when we were kids. Boy were we wrong! I can only hope that someday, my kids will see me in the same way and that I will be able to come alongside them in times of need to support them as our parents have for us.
As we have been able to climb out of the pit of depression and look forward to what God has planned for us on the horizon, I’m certain that His plan is better than anything we could have imagined before. And I’m learning to trust Him completely with tiny insignificant issues as well as the major ones. Perhaps it takes a hit like this for Him to truly draw you in to Himself and for you to learn how to rely on Him completely.
I know this is a stray from my usual food/family topics but I’m trying to keep it real with you all and let you know where we’ve been this Summer. I hope that my schedule will allow me some more time in the kitchen soon, since I do miss it, and then I can share new recipes with you all.
For now I leave you with the verse that has been on my heart for the last 2 months and continues to give me peace and comfort:
1How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
4and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6I will sing the Lord’s praise,
for he has been good to me.